How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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