he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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