She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I party with great urgency now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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