Apparently you make a good broom.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
