Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize