She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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