Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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