It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
