i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
