you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
