So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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