you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
