She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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