put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
