Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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