hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize