So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize