I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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