After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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