Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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