He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
