he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
