My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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