You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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