From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
