Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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