i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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