I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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