Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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