3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize