I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
