We won't sleep together?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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