You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
