new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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