Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
3pm strippers are depressing
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
