Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
