May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
