somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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