So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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