Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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