I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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