I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
