who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
