I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
