That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
