Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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