And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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