I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
