dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize