piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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