He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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