I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
