White coat. Heels.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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