I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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