What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
