I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
