Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize