She's JV to your varsity
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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