There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
