yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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